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2026-02-28
A brief retelling of my journey that led me to leave the Mormon faith.
2026-03-02T00:40:43-07:00
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Why I Let Go of the Rod
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Why I Stepped Away from The Mormon Church
First Nephi
I recognize it's important to establish some things before embarking on this voyage. The audience I could be reaching is extremely broad, but this route is filled with narrow passes and nautical lingo (so to speak). Before I get to telling my tall tale, I want to make my intentions clear, so I don't run the risk of losing any passengers along the way.
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At the time of writing, it is widely held preference by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to not say Mormon. One would posit, the name Mormon does not reflect the Christ-centered nature of the church that the full name does. I will use the term Mormon or LDS going forward interchangeably. I don't mean to offend or be rude, I'd instead prefer to prioritize clearly expressing my experience. I also am more comfortable typing what comes to mind and not fretting over always saying the longer full name.
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I'm not writing this to persuade anyone. This is my story. I am
going to put the onus on you, the reader, to draw what conclusions you deem appropriate. If my feelings seem extreme, then I will apologize now. But I also hope you can recognize the sincerity in my writing.
My motivation to write this is to have something more thought out and prepared when people ask why I left. This request
typically comes from friends and family still a part of the faith, which I always appreciate. Your brain is left
whirling a bit when you leave the Church, so hopefully this can clarify things for both of us.
If you, the reader, don't know much about the (more commonly recognized) Mormon faith, then this post may be hard
to follow. I will waste no time explaining concepts and assume the reader is familiar with the doctrines, history,
and positions of the church. I will do my best to delineate between commonly held facts and my opinions and cite
my sources when appropriate.
If you, the reader, take issue with how I've portrayed things, please reach out! I mean it. There's no real way to
express my sincerity through high contrast pixels on your device of choice, but I mean all of these words. I feel strongly it is
important to always keep these conversations open, and I'm willing to accept I have made mistakes. Tell me your thoughts !
Hopefully I haven't lost you, and I want to thank you in advance for any of the time and effort you take to
hear my story.
So, without further ado, lets "begin at the very beginning"
"Born of goodly parents"
I grew up in a loving home with parents that did their best to give us kids a great life. I'm the middle kid, the
glue you might say *smirk. My involvement in the church informed much of my life. My friends were typically the boys in
my ward's Sunday school class or in my boy scout troop. My views of the world were most entirely shaped by my religion.
There was some anxiety as a kid in the calculus of membership of everyone around me. I learned quickly to look for the tells: multiple ear rings, tattoos, swearing, revealing clothes / garment lines under adults clothing, and of course, the lack of brightness in someone's eyes. It felt crucial to determine the activity of someone was a member because it meant Friends houses that weren't
members of the church felt unsafe.
When I was 8 or 9, I remember feeling immense responsibility, mixed with privilege and dread, thinking that God had
restored His One True Church to my neighborhood! Relief washed over me when I learned that there were actually millions
of us, not just the two hundred in my ward. lol.